I cant talk about others lived experiences because we each have our own. But I am going to take some time to talk about mine. Prior to entering into this industry I had a completely different career obviously. One that had a big impact on my life both good and bad and I had to walk away from it due to a long list of reasons and every day a part of me wishes I could go back to that because it was an amazing life. It wasn’t perfect by any means but it was pretty amazing. The people I have in my life because of that part of my life are amazing and accepting and open minded and they support my choices. They don’t judge me, they accept me as I am. They treat me and my life choices with respect and dignity.
But I will be honest, since I began this journey into sex work I have seen both the good and bad in people. I have had great experiences and well some that are not very good at all. The good ones can really make your day, week or month. It can be as small as a gentleman caller telling you that he had a great time or it can be that someone tells you they look forward to seeing you, or even something such as when they call you they make the whole process of arranging to meet easy because they have taken the time to read your website. These things and many others can really make this work fun, and enjoyable.
An incident happened the other evening, which honestly similar experiences happen often enough that its time to talk about it. I had a man call and was rude, crass, stroppy and just outright unpleasant on the phone. And he admitted to me that it was purely for entertainment for himself and his group of buddies who were with him. And his reaction when he was called out… When I told him that from my perspective if guys feel the need to call an escort and purposely waste her/his time or calling to purposely be rude and crass and borderline disgusting on the phone, it tells me that either his friends and him have nothing happening in their lives that this is how grown men keep entertained or they really don’t like women at all because no self respecting guy would ever treat a woman whether shes an escort or not like that. And his response to being called out was to start name calling. It wasn’t to apologise for his behaviour but to start nasty name calling. And honestly even after sobering up, I believe there would be no regrets on how they behaved.
Now, and remember this is from my own personal experiences, This type of behaviour is something I experience on a semi regular basis. Yet want to know something? In my personal life, the men who I spend time with and there are quite a few I call friends, would never consider treating anyone like this. EVER….. And it gets me wondering, like sending cock photos without asking first, when did this sort of behaviour become ok? become acceptable? Now as a plus size escort, along with this behaviour, there are the clients who call and because of what ever reason I choose to not see them, rather then responding with “ok thank you for your time” they respond with “well I didn’t really want to see you you fat pig, your just cheaper then some of the other” and again I wonder where have the manners gone that that is how someone responds to my choosing not to see them?
So lets have a talk about this. No one is entitled to my services. I decide who I do and don’t see, you are welcome to call and enquire.. If you are polite and respectful on the phone and show that we are a good match chances are we wont have a problem arranging to meet for some fun… To be honest I would enjoy seeing you if that’s how you are towards me both on the phone and when we meet. Polite and respectful doesn’t mean boring… It means you respect my boundaries and we will have a great time together…
Honestly, I have come to the conclusion that there are always going to be guy out there who are as described above and its just how it is. But maybe its time to come out and say this is not acceptable, that this isn’t how you treat others. And 80% of the people who I spend time with are great, they are fantastic company, its just that 20% that ruin it for others.
While I choose not to let it inherently bother me or take it personally, I will continue to call these guys out on their behaviour because I feel that the best way to deal with these people is to call them out on it and then move on to the next thing. Its like with bullies, if they aren’t called out on their behaviour they will continue doing it.
So I wish to let all those lovely gentlemen who contact me know that they are very much appreciated. That it really can make a difference both in my attitude towards you, but it can also determine that our time together will be enjoyable.
Please note – these are my own personal experiences, I cant talk for others as their experience is different to mine and all our experiences vary and how we react to them is different.