Suggested Post about Respect & Stigma – Sex Workers & their Clients
I got an interesting email today from a nice guy, he spoke about enjoying my blog and what I had written. He made a suggestion to me, which I think is a good point to discuss. About respect given towards Sex Workers, and also the respect towards clients, along with the stigma that both experience from society on a whole.
A quote from that email “Respect for us, the client is often overlooked. I have had a very poor experience recently where I was treated poorly and not in a respectful way. Clients are ridiculed by society and this can translate into lack of respect by providers.” And this is something that prompted this blog post..
The sex worker and client relationship – both parties need to give respect to each other to ensure that time spent together is enjoyable for both parties. Its important that sex workers treat their clients with respect and dignity. Why? Because this is something that will have them wanting to come back again. But the client also needs to treat the sex worker with respect and dignity as well. Because I can guarantee that if the client doesn’t there is a good chance that the sex worker will refuse to take a booking from them or refuse to see them again. Because at the end of the day we are all human, we have feelings, emotions, and deserve to be treated as we treat others.
One of the definitions of respect is – Due regard for the feelings, wishes or rights of others.. Another definition of respect is Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities or achievements.
There is so much stigma attached to this industry. Both Sex workers and clients experience it on various levels. For example as a sex worker there are people in society who like to tell us that we lack morals, we ruin relationships, that we are subhuman, we don’t deserve the same rights as other humans, The laws in some states of Australia even add to this stigma at times in the sense that they isolate us, some times put our safety at risk, If we report an assault to the police there are some who make us feel as though its our own fault because we are sex workers.
Clients experience similar stigma for making the choice to see sex workers. They may have people ask them whats wrong with them that they need to see a sex worker, they may be made to feel guilty for indulging in seeing a sex worker, people in their life may make them feel less respected because of their choice to see a sex worker…
This is one of the many reasons why i think its important for clients and sex workers to work together in improving laws, to support each other, treat each other with respect, and come together to help change the image of the industry, to bring awareness, so that we can as a collective start to remove the stigma attached to this industry.
I personally have experienced lack of respect from clients. Calls at crazy hours, rudeness on the phone, tantrums if i refuse to provide certain services, tantrums if i choose not to provide something without condoms, i have even had guys call me making enquiries and half way through me explaining them they just hang up, no good bye, no oh im not interested. Just hang up. And there are times when i have possibly not shown a client respect. Why? maybe because he kept pushing boundaries, maybe he tried hurting me, maybe he kept going with what he was doing even after being asked to stop, or maybe he came to see me and walked in with a horrible attitude.
I know there are clients who have been on the receiving end of lack of respect from sex workers and this does happen i know. But because i wasn’t present i cant comment on that sort of situation. But i think its very important in this situation that the client communicate with his sex worker. Dont just take it, talk to them, communicate, express how you feel otherwise it wont improve.
So this is all i have to say this evening, but i may talk more about these topics in the future as i believe they are important.