Understanding Boundaries & Consent – My Perspective as a Sex Worker
Over the last few weeks, I’ve had several gentlemen reach out to me after seeing one of my ads. Some of them were looking to be friends, others wanted me to be their girlfriend, and a few just wanted to hook up for free. However, I’ve also had some clients who have gotten upset with me because I choose not to provide certain services, such as threesomes with their friends.
I believe it’s essential to discuss boundaries and consent, particularly in my line of work as a sex worker. Yes, I get paid for sexual services, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to set boundaries and expect consent.
Let’s talk about boundaries. Many of us in the sex industry have set boundaries for various reasons, such as privacy, safety, or personal comfort. These boundaries are not up for negotiation, and it’s crucial for clients to respect them. Pushing someone to offer services they have declined or asking about personal details they don’t want to disclose only makes the experience uncomfortable for both parties. It’s essential to understand that boundaries are in place to ensure that our time together is enjoyable for both of us.
Now, let’s discuss consent. Paying for services doesn’t equate to automatic consent. Consent is more than just a yes or no; it’s about respecting boundaries and understanding what is and isn’t on offer. As an escort, I make sure to discuss my boundaries and limitations with clients beforehand to avoid any misunderstandings. If I’ve explicitly stated that I don’t offer a particular service, then that means I haven’t given consent for that activity. By respecting boundaries and getting consent, we can ensure that both parties have a good time.
In conclusion, while we’re friendly and interested in our clients during our time together, it’s crucial to remember that we have boundaries and require consent. As a client, all we ask is for you to respect our boundaries and understand that consent is necessary for all activities. And if you’re unsure about anything, don’t hesitate to ask – we won’t be offended and will appreciate the communication.
What You Can Learn From Sex Workers About Consent – Womanist Musings
What is sexual consent? – Reachout.com
Understanding Sex Work in an Open Society – Open Society Foundation
“Sex workers are experts at sexual consent” – Femifesto Website
Sex workers and sexual assault – Consented
What Consent Looks Like – Rainn
With Sex Workers Too, Rape Is Still Rape – Sexuality Policy Watch
Understanding Consent – No one asks for it
Sex Workers Share stories of clients using the “L” Word – Harlot Media